


Out

by imimmortalagain



Series: trans yaz one shots [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: But not on purpose, Comfort, Coming Out, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Female Character, but like mild, dead naming, guys im tired, only cause its pre coming out, the doctors awkward but supportive, trans!yaz, uh we got
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26077630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imimmortalagain/pseuds/imimmortalagain
Summary: "Yaz bit her lip and clenched her eyes shut. Prem. It only added to the deep ache in her body that thrummed with the need to be seen, to perfectly, imperfectly herself. She didn’t have to do this, could say it was a bad dream, could look the door from the inside, could set the pot back on the stove, let it boil over, could leave this room and swallow the dysphoria and the pain for just a little while longer—How. Long."
Series: trans yaz one shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893187
Comments: 20
Kudos: 32





	Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [not_joli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_joli/gifts).



> more trans yaz because im trans and love yaz,  
> as always shout out to joli, cause youre awesome and the reason i was inspired to write trans yaz!

It had been a silent night on the TARDIS, Ryan and Graham had fallen asleep as soon as they returned home from Junta, everyone was proper exhausted but Yaz couldn’t find it in her to sleep. She was on the precipice of, well,  _ that. _ So here she was, standing on the outskirts of the control room, wringing her hands together.

Her heart was beating louder than anything she’d ever heard before. She had been sitting on this and it had welled up and filled her until she was here. She had to say it. The Doctor wasn’t that type of person, judgemental, but spoiled memories swirled round the bottom of her mind until even the thought of spilling out what she’d held onto for so long smelled rank.

“Prem?” The Doctor said, looking over her shoulder at Yaz, “Didn’ know you were still up, e'rythin’ all right?” She looked back down to whatever device rested between the console and her hand, and resumed working on it.

Yaz scratched the back of her neck and worried her lip between her teeth, she didn’t have to do this, did she? She could turn around, pretend it was some sleep walking thing in the morning. But she could, couldn’t she. She could, “Yeah, um.” Deep breath, “Can I talk to you.” 

“‘Course.” She set down the device and turned all the way around, taking a few calculated steps to span the gap between them. She leveled Yaz with a supportive smile and a slight nod to let her know she had her attention.

“I, uh,” She bit her bottom lip again and took in a deep breath, she shifted from foot to foot, “Well, um—”

“Prem, I want you to know that while I don’ always know how to respond to things it doesn’ mean that I think any less of you for your thoughts or feelings, okay?” The Doctor reached a hand forward and rested it on Yaz’s shoulder, it was paradoxical in nature, both supportive and worried, tense and soft, in an endearing sort of way. “I’m here for you. I might not really know how to show it or support you but I’m here for you.” 

Yaz bit her lip and clenched her eyes shut.  _ Prem _ . It only added to the deep ache in her body that thrummed with the need to be seen, to perfectly, imperfectly herself. She didn’t have to do this, could say it was a bad dream, could look the door from the inside, could set the pot back on the stove, let it boil over, could leave this room and swallow the dysphoria and the pain for just a little while longer—

_ How. Long.  _

“I’m trans. Uh, a girl, I mean, I’m a woman.” The words poured past her lips before she even knew what she was saying. And the moment seemed to grind to halt, nerves sharp, flitting around her gut, she couldn’t take it back now. 

It took the Doctor ages to respond, at least that’s what it felt like to Yaz, “Oh, okay, thanks for letting me know.” The Doctor nodded, turned back towards the main console and took a small step before, “Um, wait, you’re from the early twenty-first century, right?” 

Yaz’s eyebrows drew together, too many things had happened in the span of a few seconds and she wasn’t sure if she had time to process it all. The Doctor didn’t react, not in a negative way, not in a shocked way, she just… accepted it. And her relief to that was astounding, flooding, pure, and intoxicating. And then the Doctor had asked her a question, right, Yaz nodded.

“Oh.” The realization was thick in the Doctor’s voice, “That was a big deal for you then, right?”

Yaz just nodded again, still shocked and processing all the things that were happening.

“Right. Well, I don’ really understand this century’s obsession with gender and other people’s well, parts an’ all but I assure you I’m all for trans people, I mean, I used to be a man,” She shrugged with a light smile, “But I s’pose regeneration’s a bit different from bein’ trans.”

Yaz didn’t know what to say to that. Her brain was loaded with questions like,  _ you used to be a man _ and  _ we’re still fighting for trans rights in the twenty-second century  _ and  _ regeneration _ but all she could pull out of the confused mess in her head was, “Yeah.” A meak agreement. She didn’t even know what she was agreeing to.

“But, uh, what do you lot say right ‘round now? ‘Trans Rights’? Well, Prem—” As soon as the last syllable left her mouth she cringed at her clumsy mistake and sighed, “Ah, what should I call you, I mean, what’s your name, your real one?”

“Yasmin, Yaz to my friends.” Yaz smiled at that, something close to content and happiness bubbled up through her, the Doctor was going to use her name. 

“Ah, well, Yaz,” She smiled at the name and swished it around her mouth, “Yaz. Yasmin. Yasmin Khan. Yaz Khan. That’s a beautiful name, Yaz.” Yaz smiled back, “Well, Yaz, I don’t really care how you got ‘round to bein’ a woman, I mean, you’ve been a woman this whole time, but, what I mean is, your history and body doesn’t determine who you are. It’s a brain thing really, ‘sides, there’s loads more to womanhood than parts right? But I’m sure you already know that an’ all, sorry I’m not really sure what I should say—” She was cut off by a hug. 

Yaz had wrapped two arms around her and pulled her close. The relief hadn’t left her system yet, the high still buzzing through her veins, rising and falling like tides upon a beach, washing over Yaz until all she could do was envelop the Doctor in a hug. “You’re doin’ perfect, Doctor, thank you.”

The Doctor melted into the hug, relaxed and wrapped her arms around Yaz and pulled her closer, the aftertaste of a smile on her mouth, “I’m always ‘ere for you, Yaz.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for the read!


End file.
